Self-care seems to be the newest catchphrase that we see everywhere, but what does it even mean?  Most people think of self-care as a luxurious, expensive spa day – which, let’s be honest, sounds lovely – but self-care is actually much more simple than that, and something you should focus on to boost your mental health. 

Doing Things for YOU

I always say (well, “stole” from the airline safety videos) that “you must put your oxygen mask on first before assisting others.” This means even before assisting your children! I share this thought a lot with my clients because it is so, so important.  We are constantly putting the needs of others ahead of our own, which takes a toll on our mental health. While in some instances it is crucial to do so, in most cases it is not.  

It is key to make conscious choices to do things for YOU. This can be as simple as adding your lunch box to the assembly line in the morning to prepare a healthy lunch for yourself, hiring a babysitter and scheduling a date night with your significant other, going to bed early so you get a restful night’s sleep, or ensuring that you are drinking enough water on a daily basis. 

Ask Yourself What You Need

Check in with yourself on the type of self-care you need at the moment. Maybe you usually thrive on social plans and a busy social calendar, but this upcoming weekend you just feel depleted and would benefit from a night on the couch. Self-care is canceling those plans that you know will probably drain you.  Self-care is giving yourself the night off from cooking and ordering a pizza when you are exhausted. 

Take a few moments out of your day and finish this sentence: “If I had more time I would _____”. What is it that you wish to do more of?  Making time for friends?  Reading?  Exercising?  Do it!  Let go of the guilt and tell your husband, “I made Sunday brunch plans with my friends this weekend” or “I scheduled a manicure on Tuesday night.”  There is NOTHING to feel guilty about. You know what?  The more you do things for you, the better parent, wife, and friend you become. You are actually filling your cup versus emptying it. 

Some of My Favorite Self-Care Strategies

Drink a HOT beverage

Savor your coffee or tea when it is freshly made, not hot from being warmed up in the microwave three times. Actually sit, hold it, and enjoy drinking it. Do nothing else, but drink it.

Take a LONG, hot shower  

Smell the smells, take your time. I don’t know about you, but I do my best thinking in the shower.

Make time for your significant other  

Don’t get caught up in waiting for your partner to initiate. Schedule the babysitter and make a reservation for dinner. Remember why you married your partner – it’s so easy to get caught up in a strictly task-orientated exchange (that is necessary too), but take time for each other.  You can even make time for intimacy (although this is another blog for another day!)

Catch up with friends

Text or call and share what’s going on in your lives. Schedule a get together, be it a night out, a cup of coffee, or a day of shopping.

Journal  

This is one of my favorites. If you have trouble free writing, purchase one with prompts. Write what went well on a particular day, write your hopes and dreams, write what you’re grateful for. 

Exercise

Find what type of movement you enjoy.  I always said I hated exercising, but in reality I really hated lifting weights at a crowded gym. Now, I love yoga classes and long walks or hikes.

Do a face mask

Did you know you are supposed to do this once a week? I always scoffed at that and said “yeah right,” but I do one every Sunday now and truly look forward to it.  Plus I get to hide in my bathroom alone for 10 minutes or come out and scare my kids.

Play with your dog (any furry friend will do) 

Pet, hug, play, be silly. I cannot explain it, but it does something wonderful for your mental health.

Find your inner-child  

If you have young children, this is easier because you can just join them in whatever they are doing.  You will find me jumping on the trampoline, shooting hoops, playing tag, and good old-fashioned board games. This could also look like diving into the ocean or a freezing cold pool (this, you will not catch me doing, although I am going to push myself to be a little more adventurous).

Enjoy your favorite meal

When I say enjoy, I mean savor it. Eat slowly and intentionally, tasting all the flavors. Only eat your meal, do nothing else, such as watching television.

What are you doing to prioritize your self-care and mental health today?

As always, thank you for reading.  Please remember you are worth it, so find some time for yourself.

All my love,

Ashley